Friday, June 13, 2014

Ups and downs

A day and a half ago I was halfway through drafting a new post about our imminent departure for France (a definite up) when I had to break off to get ready to go to lunch with two of DH’s former colleagues (another definite up).

On our way home after a delicious meal and much enjoyable conversation, we stopped off in our little market town for me to collect a prescription from the health centre and return my library books. On my way back to the car-park the first down came out of the blue when I had a close encounter with the pavement!

Coming down a slight slope my sandal skidded on some fine gravel and I landed heavily on the palms of my hands. I've skinned part of the ball of my left hand and have gravel burn on the other, so using my hands other than rather carefully may be more than a little uncomfortable for a day or two. It's so long since I had any gravel injuries I'd forgotten just how much they hurt.

The silver lining was the knight in shining armour who stopped his car on the other side of the street, came across to see if I was alright and helped me safely to my feet again, despite having my left hand dripping blood rather close to his shoes. There are some very kind people in this world. 

The other and much sadder down came this morning in a phone call to DH from my devastated youngest sister. Her 12 year-old Westie had just had a general anaesthetic for a minor procedure and came round completely deaf.  It's a known, but very rare, complication of the anaesthetic and more likely in older dogs like darling Edgar. It also won't get better. He's such a sweetie and I'm so sad this has happened to him. It certainly puts my fall into perspective. 

A much younger Eddie in one of his favourite locations - the beach

So I’m starting on the packing for our trip to France with sore hands and a mind full of a painful mixture of natural anticipation and real sadness. Life is never simple….


64 comments:

  1. Like you say, it’s up one minute and down the next. C’est la vie, as you no doubt will be saying very soon now.

    Mind you don’t get infections into your hands, the stumble on its own was bad enough without getting further complications from it. Nice chap, your knight. They are still around, I’ve come across one now and then too.

    So sad about the Westie, but you know how animals always put up with adversity; they hardly seem to notice.

    Have a safe trip.

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    1. Thanks, Friko. Oui, c'est la vie.

      I was very careful to get all the gravel out of my hands and was lavish with the antiseptic ointment. Having just changed the dressing on the bad hand everything looks fine so far, though still feeling rather sore. As for the knight, his kindness made my day.

      I'll be seeing my sister on Sunday, so I'll pass on your encouragement. Certainly we found our cats very adaptable when problems arose, so hopefully the same will be true for Eddie.

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  2. You really don't do things by halves do you?
    It sounds horribly sore, I do hope not for too long.
    Sad about the little Westie, he will be a bit puzzled for a while I would think, but he'll get tons of TLC I'm sure.
    Enjoy your holiday and do take care.
    Blessings.

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    1. I try not to, Ray, but preferably in more positive activities. :-)

      It was very sore indeed at first, but that has eased off quite a bit now, though I'm still being distinctly careful how I use my hands. Thankfully I'm a two-finger typist, which is proving just about painless.

      I've been doing some research on how dogs learn to cope with deafness and it seems they can do it surprisingly well if hand signals are substituted for verbal commands. He's a bright little thing, so I hope he learns fast, but I'm sad that he has to.

      We're not off quite yet, but I promise to be careful when we do get there.

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  3. Poor little chap...no wonder your sister is so upset for him. It will take him some time to adapt.

    Gravel is so treacherous, isn't it! The back roads here are gravel and decidedly difficult in dry weather...paticularly downhill.
    What a super knight in shining armour...it restores faith in human nature!
    Look after yourself...those gravel burns are distinctly nasty....and have a problem free break in Normandy.
    I don't like to contemplate how you are going to cut the grass on arrival though.....

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    1. It's been a bombshell, Helen, and it will take them all some time to adapt and learn new ways of communicating. He's an intelligent little dog, as well as a real sweetheart, and I'm sure he will learn to deal with the new situation eventually.

      This was fine gravel, released by deteriorating tarmac and once I was off-balance down I went, not helped by not being as light as I once was. It was so reassuring to have a strong male grasp to get me upright again, DH being round the corner in the car in blissful ignorance.

      It will take a while for the bad bit to heal completely, but I'm glad to say it's feeling rather less sore today. I've got at least 10 days grace before I'll be thinking of getting the mower out, so hopefully that will be enough....

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  4. What a time you had - the ups are so nice, but the downs, less so. My late in-laws had westies and they both had hearing problems (the westies!) in old age. It didn't seem to slow them down, though.
    I hope that your hands heal well and that your preparations for France (of which I am wildly, and unattractively envious!) are henceforth uneventful.

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    1. Yes, the downs really have taken the edge off the very pleasant ups. I gather that hearing problems aren't uncommon in older dogs, but it's the suddenness and completeness of the hearing loss which has been such a shock to them. I'm sure Eddie will adapt, but I do feel sad that he needs to.

      Thanks for the good wishes. Things feel rather easier today, but it will take time and packing has been put on hold for a day or two. If you ever manage to get to France in the summer, you would be so welcome to visit.

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  5. Poor Edgar must be feeling very confused with life at the moment - I had no idea that this could happen to dogs following a general anaesthetic.
    Your poor hands Perpetua - the trouble with gravel is that it tends to be rather like having a burn to the skin and is very painful.
    Once again we are both heading off in the same direction at the same time. It is Paris for us, staying with eldest son and family.

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    1. My sister says he's very subdued at the moment, Rosemary, which is of course understandable and the anaesthetic residues won't help. I'll be seeing them on Sunday, so will have a better idea then. It's a very rare side-effect, but not unknown.

      You're absolutely right about the resemblance to a burn. The skinned area looks and feels like the aftermath of a blister and will take a while to heal, I think. Thank goodness the right hand is mending fast.

      When are you off? We don't said until a week on Monday, but will be visiting family en route for a few days. Have a wonderful time.

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    2. Thank you Perpetua - we fly this coming Thursday - enjoy your trip and safe travels.

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    3. Bon voyage to you too, Rosemary. :-)

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  6. Ouch! Thank Goodness for kind people. So sorry to hear about your sister's poor little Westie too.
    What a week you've had. Have a safe trip and a lovely trouble free relaxing break in Normandy

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    1. Ouch indeed, Molly. I was so grateful to the kind man who took the trouble to stop and help. We're all very sad about Eddie, but are now researching how best to help him to adapt, e.g with hand signals rather than commands.

      Thankfully I have a few more days before we actually leave and make our way in a leisurely fashion to the ferry via a couple of family visits.

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  7. So sorry to hear about your fall, nasty injuries too, especially when you need your hands for holiday packing and such like. It's a blessing nothing was broken but a fall can shake you up and dent your confidence for a while. We don't bounce as well as when we were teenagers!

    And poor Edgar. I suspect, from what friends with deaf or blind dogs tell me, that he will be bewildered and confused and need extra care and reassurance for a while. It's more distressing for the owners who might blame themselves for it than for the dog. Dogs, like humans are quite adaptable, as long as they are safe and not in danger.

    I hope your journey to France goes well and that your poor hands heal soon - you will ned them when you get there!

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    1. Thanks, Jean. I will admit I felt very shaken for a while. The older (and heavier) we get, the harder we fall. I was very glad my knight errant offered me a hand up. Thankfully our departure isn't totally imminent, so i can afford to rest my bad hand for a day or two more.

      As far as Edgar is concerned, you've summed up the situation very accurately. My sister is blaming herself, even though there was no way she could have predicted this horribly rare complication from a simple anaesthetic. She says he's very subdued at the moment, which is only to be expected. I'm seeing them on Sunday and hope to see him looking a bit more like his normally perky little self. I know they will all adapt, but it will take time.

      We're so used to this journey now that hopefully all will go like clockwork. By the time we arrive on a week on Monday, my hands should be ready for some hard work. :-)

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  8. Oh no, a fall like that can be very nasty, and gravel imbedded in flesh is not a nice feeling. Hopefully you heal quickly! I'm so sad to read about your sister's sweet little Westie. What an awful thing to have happened. Please tell her how sorry I am that Edgar has lost his hearing. I wonder if she can find some forums for dog owners and talk to some people whose dogs have lost their hearing. It might be very encouraging for her to hear about how well they can adapt to the loss.

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    1. It certainly shook me up for a while, Kristie and removing the gravel from my left hand when I got home wasn't the most enjoyable of experiences. I'm pleased to say that the right hand is almost healed, but the left will take time.

      I've passed your sympathy and suggestion onto my sister, thanks. Once she 's got over the first shock, I'm sure she will be busy researching how best to help Eddie to adapt to his new normal. It's such a shame, though, as he's a very intelligent little dog who understands quite a lot of words beyond food and walkies.

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  9. Do be careful with your hand Perpetua. Those gravel injuries can turn septic very easily. How lovely that there still gentlemen around to help when these things happen.

    I'm so sorry about your sister's dog. I'm sure it will be frightening and confusing for him at first, but hopefully he will adapt..poor little thing.

    Safe journey to France xxx

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    1. Thanks for your concerned warning, Ayak. I cleaned up the bad hand very thoroughly and have kept it covered with clean dressings ever since, so hopefully it will heal without any problems. I won't forget my gentleman helper for a long time.

      I think my sister, her husband and the dog are all very upset and bewildered just now, but they are very fond of each other and I know they'll work their way through this and Eddie will go on enjoying life. He's such a loveable character.

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  10. Hari Om
    Oh my goodness; as long as nothing broken for you, though highly uncomfortable I am sure. So very sorry to hear of Edgar's side effects though. I know how much he means to the family. Holding healing thoughts all round. YAM xx

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    1. Thankfully not, Yam, though I've also got a couple of bruises here and there. The right hand is fine now, but the left will take rather longer and I'm using it with care.

      Edgar is naturally rather subdued still and it's early days for learning other means of communication with him. I'm sure he will learn to cope though, as he's so bright and determined.

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  11. Oh dear Perpetua, do be careful and take care of those hands. Why do we always put out our hands when falling. I have learnt to just go limp when i feel a fall coming up. It is second nature to me now. You are less likely to injure yourself. So sorry to hear about your sister's little cutie. Funny how we worry and he has probably just accepted the whole deal. Looks like it may be minimal packing for your trip. Hugs Sue

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    1. Thanks, Sue. It all happened so quickly that I couldn't react any other way. I'm lucky in that I haven't had enough falls so far to learn a right or wrong way to cope with them, but I'm sure your method is the best one.

      It;'s such a shame about Eddie, but they are taking him out and about again in this lovely weather. I'll see them all tomorrow after church and will be able to judge better how he will cope.

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  12. What a frightening moment that must have been for you! And I'm sorry you have lingering pain while trying to get ready to go to France.

    You know what this post brings up for me? Just how vulnerable we are as we age -- a minute and a fall away from painful or serious health consequences, so much more likely to have reactions to medications, like poor little Eddie. All of it is consequential in underscoring the fragility of good health and life itself. My husband and I just returned from three weeks in Hawaii -- the first two weeks vacationing with my sister and the last week visiting with a dear Hawaiian friend who is ill -- and I became aware not only of the frailties of people I love, but also my own: I fell down a flight of stairs and bruised a hip. I had a painful tooth infection. I had trouble getting out of the surf unaided. My footing was sometimes so tentative that my Hawaiian friend's younger sister reached out her hand and insisted on guiding me down a gentle slope. I suddenly felt so very geriatric! And we returned home to find our 16-year-old cat Gus very ill and close to death. It's a painful and shocking reality check.

    I hope your hands heal soon and that Eddie adjusts well to his hearing loss, spunky little fellow that he is, and that your sister is able to continue to treasure each day with him. The reminders of our vulnerability are all around us. But so are the reminders of the kindness of others -- as you discovered -- and the privilege of aging.

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    1. It certainly shook me up quite badly, Kathy, and I'm still using my left hand with considerable care. Luckily we still have a few days to go before we leave for France, by which time I'm hoping it will be just about healed.

      Your refection on the risks inherent in ageing echo some of the things I've thought since my fall. I was lucky it wasn't serious and someone came along to help, but it reminds me I'm heavier and less agile than I was and my never-good balance is still less reliable. I'm sorry your holiday was marred by health concerns, but hope you still came home refreshed and with happy memories.

      The right hand is fine now, but the left is still sore and stiff. I will see Eddie and my sister tomorrow and will be able then to gauge how he (and they) are adapting to the new normal.

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  13. You're right life is never simple. Being a human being is really tough stuff. But most of us muddle through somehow.

    Victoria in Indiana

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    1. We do indeed, Vic, and much of the time without really thinking about how we do so. But sometimes we're brought up short by circumstances which give us cause to ponder.before life takes over again.

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  14. Poor Edgar - it is amazing how resilient our pets can be though. We had a cat who went blind and carried on very much as usual, only occasionally bumping into things.

    Your gravel rash reminded me of when I fell on a clinker walkway at about 13 while hurrying for the bus to school. It was only 100 metres from home so I returned only to be told by my mother to carry on to school and let them deal with it. Half an hour till the next bus and then to the "sick room". I still have the gravel (clinker) under the skin on my knee to this day.

    Anyway, I hope you don't have any more downs and have a very enjoyable trip to and stay in France.

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    1. Thanks, Susan. It's very helpful to hear encouraging accounts like yours of how animals cope when a sense is lost.

      Sorry to hear you're still carrying some of the clinker around with you after all these years. Given the number of times I skinned my knees as a child, there may still be some in mine that i'm not aware of. :-) I think I managed to get all the gravel out, though some was very fine, and one hand is basically healed already. The other still has a completely raw patch on the palm which I'm keeping carefully covered for the time being until it skins over. It's starting to feel better now, so packing will recommence once the weekend is over.

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  15. Sorry about your unplanned intimacy with the gravel! Wishing you a speedy recovery.

    I am struck by the symbolism of a beloved pet struck suddenly with deafness...wondering why the adored human no longer communicates with that voice he was so used to hearing, wondering when he will hear it again. And only gradually over time coming to realize the human still cares about him, but he must find that love expressed in different ways, such as touch, treats, time spent, the list goes on.
    Sometimes when it seems God has gone silent, and it goes on for a while, may I be the trusting pet and keep patiently waiting to discover by some other means that the love is still constant, just needs to be sought in a different language or form for the message to come through? And it may take me a while to find it...

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    1. Thanks for the good wishes. Recovery definitely underway. :-)

      I've spent some time today while being driven to an event thinking about your analogy and finding it very helpful indeed. We all have these times when we no longer seem to hear God and the encouragement to search for different means of awareness and communication will saty with me. Thank you for that.

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  16. Oh dear, I'm glad you are OK Perpetua. Gravel rash can be very painful, not to mention the fright of a sudden fall. That is interesting about the Westie going deaf; we had a little silky terrier who lived to 17, and was profoundly deaf for about the last 5 years, and eventually blind as well. He had several general anaesthetics for cancer surgery, and now I wonder if that caused the deafness. The good news is, he coped very well, even when blind. I also discovered that I learned as he learned and by the end we somehow were communicating without words (either of us!) and I just knew what he wanted, somewhat telepathically. Good luck to Eddie and Sis, and good luck to you as you pop off to France. What a treat!

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    1. The fall definitely shook me,. Patricia, but in hindsight it could have been much worse. The gravel rash on the right hand is practically gone, but the skinned area on the left will take a few days of continuing care. But packing will be done eventually and we'll leave when we planned to. :-)

      Thanks so much for telling me about your little terrier. It's so helpful to hear others' experiences and I'll be sure to pass them on when I see my sister tomorrow after church. It could well be that the anaesthetics did affect your dog's hearing over time, but in Eddie's case the loss has been sudden and total after just one anaesthetic which is why it has hit us all so hard. Eddie is a bright and resilient little chap and I'm sure he and his family will learn new ways of communicating with time.

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  17. I wish you get hold of a wonder ointment we have here in Spain - it's called, rather spectacularly, Blastoestimulina and is a pomade including lavender and geranium oils and it works like magic on curing wounds. I've been using it on Pip's leg as I remember using it on a wound I had once. Maybe they have something similar in France?
    Poor Edgar...what a shame for him. Let's hope he and the family can adapt and help him work out how to understand what's going on.
    Hope you're now safely in France now.
    Axxx

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    1. I remember you mentioning this ointment in your last post, Annie, and it sounds just the thing for the skinned area on my left hand. We have nothing like it here to my knowledge and if my hand is still bothering me by the time we arrive in France, I'll see what's on offer there. We leave here next Thursday and will spending a few days with family before arrive in Normandy on the 23rd.

      I'll be seeing Eddie tomorrow so will know more about he's starting to deal with this big change in his life. I gather dogs can adapt very well and his owners may have more problems learning to live with it.

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    2. Age - I have such a horrible habit of repeating myself - but at least it's given you a chance to remember the name! Glad to have the Eddie update via Facebook. Axxx

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    3. It comes to us all, Annie and I'm a world champion at repetition. :-) Yes, I'm already starting to find just how useful FB can be....

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  18. OUCH!! Very glad to hear you're ok, if rather sore.
    So hard when something goes wrong with a beloved pet. One of our previous cats went deaf and she coped very well so here's hoping Eddie does too. Animals can be amazingly adaptable.

    Safe travels to Normandy.

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    1. Ouch is exactly what I said as recovered from the shock. :-) Starting to mend now I'm glad to say.

      Thanks for another dose of encouragement for my sister and brother-in-law. The really hard bit is the suddenness and completeness of the loss, with no gradual deterioration to help them all acclimatise to the change. But Eddie being a brave little chap will learn to deal with it, I'm sure.

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  19. Life is definitely never simple. You are so right. I hope your hands heals quickly and that you are able to do your packing without pain. Poor Edgar. Somehow, I think that he will learn to cope better than the humans. Do take care Perpetua.

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    1. Thanks, Bonnie. The hands are starting to heal, though the left one will take a few days, I think. I'm resting them over the weekend and will pack early next week now. As for Edgar, I'm sure you're right. So many people have said how adaptable animals are when this kind of thing happens, so I'm feeling very much more hopeful for him.

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  20. So true Perpetua, life is full of ups and downs.
    What a shame about your sister's Edgar. Two of my dogs, have one eye. The smaller and older one, my rescue dog, is nearly deaf. They seem to get used to it and follow their nose. She is very good with it.
    Sounds like a bad fall Perpetua. Gravel is horrible to fall on. I hope that they will be getting better soon.
    I am sure you are excited to get to see your lovely little cottage in France again. looking forward to seeing photos and news ..
    wishing you a happy weekend. get better soon. val xx

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    1. It is indeed, Val. I'm sure you're right about how Edgar will adapt, given time. it's the suddenness which has given us all such a shock, as my sister and her husband have to adapt too. I'll see how they are doing when I visit them after church this morning.

      I'm feeling much better now, thanks, though the left hand is going to take a while longer to heal. I'll see how it feels when I drive to church.

      Yes, I'm getting excited now. Only just over a week to go...

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  21. So sorry to hear about your fall Perpetua and trust your injuries will heal very soon. What a kind stranger to help you. Poor Edgar, that must have been a shock for both him and your sister. Let's hope he comes to terms with his loss of hearing. One can't imagine what it must be like. Have a great trip to France.
    Patricia x

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    1. Yes, it's been a series of shocks, Patricia, but we're gradually getting over them, thanks. My right hand is fine now and the left starting to heal. I'm seeing my sister and Eddie later today and will start to learn how to communicate with him without words. I keep being told dogs are very adaptable, so I hope he is too.

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  22. I'm sorry that you had such a nasty fall and badly grazed the palms of your hands. I hope they'll heal quickly. An experience like that shakes one up, too, so it was good that there was someone nearby that was concerned that you were not more badly injured and helped you up. Sorry also to hear about Edgar. It's upsetting to see animals go through adversity and it's an unexpected set-back for your sister's little Westie. With lots of TLC that I know he'll get I trust he'll adapt to his deafness. May you have a safe journey to France and a relaxing, peaceful time there.

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    1. Thanks, Linda. it was a salutary reminder that I'm not as young as I was and I don't bounce well now. I really needed that kindly helping hand and was very grateful for it. Only the left hand is now still sore and that too is starting to heal.

      I'll be seeing my my sister and Edgar later today after church and will start myself to learn how to adapt to the new situation. Dogs are very resilient and Eddie is such a bright little thing that I'm sure he'll learn to cope with time. After that I'll get on with the packing....

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  23. I'm sorry, Perpetua. I hate to hear of my friends getting hurt. I hope you're healing well. I'm sorry too about the little pup, I hope he'll adapt easily. Have a safe journey to France and a wonderful stay.

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    1. Thanks, Jennifer. I'm pleased to say that the bruises are fading fast and only the left hand is still sore. Eddie is a very intelligent little dog and though it won't be easy for a while, I'm sure he will learn to cope and still enjoy life.

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  24. These stumbles are annoying. I tripped over a top stair in our newly rebuilt front porch. Even when I'm paying attention it happens now and then.

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    1. I hope you didn't hurt yourself too much in your fall, Linda. We don't bounce well as we get older, do we?

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  25. I hope the stinging has passed now and on the upside, you must have strong bones,. I'm glad I didn't read this earlier today as a Jake had to have a general anaesthetic at the vets today. I had no idea deafness could result.

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    1. The right hand is fine now, thanks, but the skinned area on the left is taking its time. Not sure how strong my bones are, but they are certainly well-padded. :-)

      This after-effect of anaesthetic is recognised, but very rare, and when it does happen is more often than not in elderly dogs like Eddie. Most vets don't ever see a case of it, so try not to worry about Jake.

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  26. Oh, dear me - life IS never simple, Perpetua, and here you are, seemingly experiencing it all in but a few days time.
    Those gravel wounds are nasty, indeed, and bring us back pretty quick to other injuries, don't they? Here's hoping they heal asap.
    Poor Eddie. What a thing to have happen to him in an otherwise routine operation. Interestingly, just yesterday over coffee with some friends, my friend June was telling us that her daughter had an influence shot and lost hearing afterwards in one of her ears as well as her sense of smell!

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    1. The word rollercoaster is much over-used, Penny, but sometimes it's the most apt in the circumstances. We're all getting back onto a more even keel now, though Eddie is still a very subdued little dog and a silent one which seems very odd. But it's early days and we're all hopeful he will be more his usual perky self as time goes on. I gather hearing can be vulnerable to various things such as anaesthetic and other drugs, but the impact isn't always as instantaneous and total as here. As for my hands, the right is fine again and the left is definitely starting to heal, though I'm still using it with care.

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  27. The gravel injury sounds horrible....but trying to be positive....it is so easy to break a wrist when you fall like that, so maybe the gravel injury will be quicker to heal than something more drastic.From you FB posts, I see that you have been able to spend some time with poor little Eddie. I hope he copes with his new world. Take care, and I hope the rest of your preparations for travelling to France go smoothly. Jx

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    1. My left hand caught the brunt of it, Janice and is still noticeably sore, but you're right, it could have been so much worse. I'd better count my blessings. :-) I'll get back to the packing tomorrow...

      It was good to see them all and talk over what's happened. Eddie's ears are now starting to prick up, but he didn't wag his tail once, something he always did when you talked to him. :-( And for him not to utter a single sound in a a couple of hours shows his new world will be be different for us all.

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  28. I hope the hands continue to heal, Perpetua. Sadly, as we get older, healing seems to take far longer.

    I'm sure pets do adjust to loss, but as with humans, it does take time. I'm currently trying to comfort Šárek who seems to be missing both Sybille (human) and Oscar (fellow feline) :-(

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    1. They're doing quite well, thanks, Ricky, though the bad patch is proving rather stubborn.

      I know you're right about the adjustment taking time. Eddie is a bit brighter, but obviously still finding his new situation hard to understand. The same will be true for Sarek, who has lost two companions in quick succession. You'll have to have plenty of boys' nights in. :-)

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  29. Hope the palms of your hands have healed up now. Oooh yes I remember picking gravel out of grazes. Ouch. And so sorry to hear about poor Eddie. The world must seem a strange place to him now. I do hope he is able to adapt and still enjoy the companionship of his humans.

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    1. Right one is fine now, thanks, but the left has a bit to go, though I can use it for most things now. I'm sure my knees healed faster than this when I was a child.

      It's hard for Eddie and my sister and brother-in-law as yet. The whole relationship between them has changed and they are still finding their way. But it's early days and I'm really hoping they will all adapt eventually.

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  30. I am so sorry for both happenings, Perpetua. I think perhaps getting on your way is going to be well-timed, with the opportunity to let your mind absorb the sad news about Eddie and of course, to let your poor body mend, too. When I took the bad fall last September I realized at once how fortunate I was that nothing was broken, and so pleased that others came to my assistance, but it still took me a while to absorb the shock of being jarred so badly. I hope you don't feel any residual unrest. And the relationship we share with these precious animals just makes the heart hurt any time they are in distress, and the loss of hearing to dear Eddie will undoubtedly cause him major concern, at least for a while. Do give us an update on him (you, too) as time goes forward. Wishing you safe and trouble free travels. :-)

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    1. It's been a difficult few days, Debra, but I'm feeling much better now, thanks. The right hand is fine and even the left is now healing well. My fall was nowhere near as serious as yours, but it still shook me up. We really don't bounce well as we get older, do we?

      I saw my sister and brother-in-law and of course Eddie on Sunday and they are still only beginning to get used to this new normal. Eddie is understandably very subdued and my sister is finding it very hard not to be able to chat to him as she always used to do, as he often seemed to understand every word. But it's early days and I really hope that as time goes on a new relationship will emerge for them all.

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