Old habits die hard. Five years after I retired for the
second time, I’m still faintly haunted by my mother’s adage that “Early to bed
and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” The trouble is that this
doesn’t come naturally to me and never has done. Fundamentally I’m an owl, not
a lark.
Though I enjoy the early morning when forced to experience
it, my normal instinct when I wake up early is to turn over, snuggle down and
go back to sleep. In the evening the converse is true. While DH will happily
head off to bed and to sleep after the 10 o’clock news, I find myself perking
up again, ready to go back online for an hour or two and even read in bed after
finally switching off the computer.
The one thing guaranteed to make me put the light off before
the wee small hours is the knowledge that DH will wake me in the morning no
later than 9. Not that I want him to, you understand, it’s just that we’ve
decided that we simply can’t allow our respective body clocks to get too far
out of line or life would become much too complicated. So he gets up when he’s
ready to do so and wakes me when my morning porridge is ready. DH is no cook,
but he can make a mean pan of porridge (it must be his Scottish ancestry) so on
most mornings making breakfast is his province, not mine.
The snag comes when he is on a rare trip away without me, as
he is at the moment. As I type he’s in the process of taking an elderly aunt
home from a visit to his mother’s and has left me to my own devices for a
couple of days. As soon as I know there is no-one around to keep me in line, I
fall far too easily into bad ways, as I did last night.
Oh, I was good at first. The TV went off at 10 and the
computer about an hour later. I told myself I was tired after a busy weekend
and needed an early night. So I was in bed soon after 11 and decided to reward
myself with the opening chapter (or two) of my latest library book: A Question of Belief by the superlative Donna Leon.
Who was I trying to kid? There is no such thing as reading
only a chapter or two of a Donna Leon novel. Her writing is so good, her
settings so atmospheric and her characters so well-drawn that I instantly found
myself drawn into the story and emerged to find that it was almost 3am, my
eyelids were drooping from tiredness and I was two-thirds of the way through
the book.
Even then something in me urged me to make a night of it and
finish the whole book, but from somewhere I found a remnant of commonsense and
made myself switch off the light. From habit I woke just before 9, heavy-eyed
and sluggish, but still full of the guilty joy of reading in bed until I could
read no more. I still have the final third to read, but tonight DH will be home
and I will be good again – until next time.
Image via Wylio
Thank you for this! I found myself nodding throughout this post! I am a night owl. Just awful in the mornings. But regardless of how early I rise I am just unable to control the desire to sit up reading a book until the wee sma' hours!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it great to find we're not alone in our guilty pleasures? I at least am retired, so my time is my own. How on earth you manage to combine family, commute, work and reading until late, I do not know. I guess it's that need to read, whatever the cost.
DeleteWell, I'll be -- I stayed up to finish Donna Leon just the night before last. I got my hands on 7 of them at the church fair last summer and have been eking them out slowly! Tonight I shall be tempted to watch a late movie that I've not seen before and which sounds good -- have to see how tired I am when the time comes! My husband usually, but not always, has to hit the hay earlier than I -- which means if I want to read in bed, I have to make my way upstairs before he does. We have an unwritten rule -- I can keep the light on if he comes up after me, but I won't turn the light on if he's already tucked in and fast asleep. Since I have trouble staying asleep for more than two hours at a time, I often give up trying and come downstairs to the computer or BBC news. Then around 7 or 7.30 I go back for some more sleep. There is nothing more liberating to me than burning the midnight oil for pleasure!
ReplyDeleteGreat minds obviously thinking alike, Broad. :-) Donna Leon is one of my great favourites and I love to savour her books. DH and I gave up sharing a room decades ago as he is so easily disturbed at night and can often not get back to sleep. Even so, the mere fact of his being in the house acts as a curb on my worst owl traits, so I do tend to give rein to them when he's away. Enjoy your film - I'll be tucked up again with Commissario Brunetti......
DeleteI need to find this Donna Leon.
ReplyDeleteI am a lark. My partner is even more of a lark. Somewhere between 5.30 and 7am when he stays in bed.
But when we are separate and I start reading, I am the same, I hate putting down a book and can happily read away into the small hours....
I do hope you can, Rough Seas, as I know you'd enjoy them and find them as hard to put don as I do. Such intelligent writing, even if most of her books take a very bleak view of Italian society.
DeleteYou're lucky you and your partner are both larks. Life gets much more difficult when owls mate with larks. :-)
Dear Perpetua - something very similar happens in our house too. However, are we owls not blessed when our lark mates are so accommodating to our needs?
ReplyDeleteMy little lark pokes his head around the corner of the study to tell me he is off to bed having watched the evening news, and when I come down in the morning, the tea is ready in the pot, he has had his breakfast and is busy reading his book.
On the occasions when I do arise early and see the sun rising, I always think to myself, I should do this more often.
Rosemary, I'm glad to know I'm not alone in being married to a lark. As you say, we're lucky that our larks let us follow our own timetable and don't expect us to make their breakfasts. :-) But you are so right about that feeling that comes when we DO get up early - the one that tells us that this is a good thing to do. For one thing, one gets so much more daylight.....
DeleteIt can be very difficult when larks marry owls. I'm the lark..up at around 6am, sometimes earlier, whereas my other half can't seem to sleep before 2 or 3am. As he is away most of the time working, it isn't a problem, but when he's here he wants to play music or go online until the early hours so one of us will often move into the spare room or neither of us would get any sleep!
ReplyDeleteGosh, Ayak, you and Mr A are at either end of the spectrum, aren't you? Sometimes separate rooms are the only solution. Thinking about it, given your summer temperatures in Turkey, a lark seems very much the best thing to be. You have the coolness of the early morning to get work done and can catch up with sleep in the heat of the day.
DeleteOh how brilliant! I'm a night owl too. That's my treat when I'm busy to stay up as late as I like listening to music, reading and not worrying about waking up. We have prayer at 7.30am at college and I'm a couple of miles away so that is REALLY painful for a night owl!!
ReplyDeleteWe night owls must stick together, Nicola. :-) I keep trying to explain to my lark how strong the temptation to stay up really is, but he can't see it, though he IS capable of reading in the middle if the night if he happens to wake up after a few hours sleep.
DeleteThe thought of having to get up and cycle to college in time for morning prayer at 7.30 sounds like torture nowadays, though I always had to be up early while I was working.
Mr. Fly used to spend most of his time in bed, not well enough to get up but now old habits have reasserted themselves. We're up about 5.30, as the sun comes up behind the house, he makes breakfast and the day begins.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same if he is away at the house in San Jose...the dogs expect action.
But the evenings differ...if he is here we will have supper, read, watch the box or listen to the radio before being in bed about 10.00.
On my own, however, once I've caught up on the Great British Bakeoff, it's into a book and the light goes out about 3.00!
Thank goodness for the daily siesta!
Fly, it must be so satisfying for you that Mr Fly is well enough to be up and about at the crack of dawn nowadays. Like Ayak, you live in a warm climate and I can see the need to be up early and then take a siesta, but how you do that after reading until 3am I cannot imagine. It can only be the dogs' needs that drag you from the depths of sleep. It's probably a very good thing that the only pets I've ever had are cats and they could let themselves out. :-)
DeleteI tend to go with the seasons - in summer I can get up at 4.30 am - in winter 8 am is an effort. I know what you mean about wanting to turn over and snuggle down, especially on dark cold mornings. I have been known to sit at the computer until 3 am, trying to fix it when it's playing up. I think one of the books I enjoyed reading the most was 'The Shack' by W P Young.
ReplyDeleteMolly, that variation sounds like a wonderful way to make the most of the day, whatever the season. I'm very aware in summer that I usually miss the loveliness of early morning, but sadly that makes no difference when I get my second wind in the late evening and don't feel in the least sleepy. Somehow I can't see me changing into a lark at this late stage.
DeleteThanks for the mention of 'The Shack'. Several people have recommended it to me, so I really must get hold of a copy.
I can't remember who told me that the well-known call of the owl is actually the 'conversation' of two owls, not the call of just one. So, you say, 'too-whit' and I say 'too-whoo' back! (One night owl to another.)
ReplyDeleteAt least you resisted that all-night urge to complete your book. I do understand. Fortunately, Cesar is a night owl too - a Spanish one at that - which explains why school mornings are always a little fraught.
Axxx
Annie, I love the idea of us night owls hooting back and forth between ourselves. :-) I must remember that for future reference - not always as easily said as done, nowadays.... Aren't you lucky to be married to another owl, even if it makes weekday mornings hard work?
DeleteI don't think the book will be completed tonight either, not by the time I've finished replying to comments. :-)
I'm reading "Fatal Remedies" by Donna Leon, and like you, finding it hard to get to bed early enough.....sigh..... I'm neither a night owl or a lark.... I think I'm just a sloth ;-)
ReplyDeleteLOL, Sian - a very hard-working sloth in that case. :-) I'm glad to find you're another Donna Leon fan. They are such good novels and stay in the mind after you manage to finish reading them.
DeleteOh, yes, Perpetua, there's no reading just one or two chapters! This is one of the reasons why I limit the number of mysteries I read. Other books I can usually put down, but not a mystery. And then it's 3:00 a.m.! I find that living on my own most of the time means that I am often tempted and often succumb to super-owlish tendencies which, when hubs and I are together, disappear.
ReplyDeleteHooray, I'm not alone in my addiction to mystery novels! Thanks for reassuring me about that, Penny. :-) I can well believe that when you're on your own in Williamsburg you find it hard not to give in to the urge to read late. In your situation I would be a lost cause .....
DeleteI used to stay up till all hours painting, but that was in my younger years. Now, I have to force myself to stay up past nine. I do read before sleep, and have, like you, got so involved that the hours passed.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I am totally useless at all forms of art, but I can well believe how easy it would be to become so absorbed that you lose all track of time. But times change and if your body says 9 o'clock is bedtime, you have to listen to it. Glad to know you still read late at times, though.
DeleteGuilty pleasures - reading in bed has to be one of the best!
ReplyDeleteIn our household, I am the early bird, and The Great Dane is the night owl. He is now retired and I am still working, so things can get complicated. I wonder how things will work out when I retire.....
I so agree, Pondside. As a child I used to read under the bedclothes with a torch, after the early bedtime our parents thought best for us. Now I can indulge myself...... :-)
DeleteIt has to be easier to be a lark while still working and I'm sure you'll come to some mutually agreeable arrangement once you retire
I'm usually up by 5 a.m. so I can hit the gym by 6 a.m. I've truly tried to sleep later but it seems as soon as that light before the dawn creeps over the horizon, I'm wide awake. I've never owned an alarm clock, just always woke up at the crack of....I do end my day with a good book (or my Kindle) and read until my eyelids start to droop. Would you believe about 9 pm? Weird eh?
ReplyDeleteAstrid, you make me feel tired just to think of being in the gym at 6am! I know it must be so good for you, but at 6am....? No wonder your eyes are starting to close by 9pm.
DeleteYou are obviously a born lark and I'm guessing that in Hawaii dawn comes at much the same time year-round. I can just about imagine getting up at 5 in summer here, but not in winter. :-)
Oh I do hope that I can reverse my need for very early rising when I retire. I know that I'm an owl if left to my own devices, but I am sitting at a work desk at 7 a.m. I only work three days a week, so my other days have more flexibility, but if I don't keep to an early bedtime I get too off for the work days. One day I will be reading all night, too, and it will be delicious! :-) I think you have the perfect system going, Perpetua! Debra
ReplyDeleteDebra, you have my sympathy. I know from my own experience that there must be so many frustrated and sleepy owls turning up early for work every day - and your working day starts 2 hours earlier than mine used to do. Believe me, it's wonderful to retire and know that waking-up has now become a movable feast. :-)
DeleteI'm a night owl too, especially in the fall and winter. I don't like to awaken to darkness, so my sleep schedule shifts.
ReplyDeleteBefore the era of easy artificial lighting that's what we would all have had to do, Linda. I too hate getting up in the dark - it feels so unnatural. :-)
DeleteWe ought to think of a new composite name for those of us who are a mixture of owl and lark !
ReplyDeleteWell, Sian suggested a sloth and that could be very appropriate for some..... :-)
DeleteJust catching up here. You sound like us! When I was working on my PhD thesis (since abandoned sadly) it was not unknown for me to go to bed at 4.00am (I couldn't really start a study session until the kids were in bed) and then for the Mr. to get up at 6.00am. In fact I could still do this, but back then I was getting up again at 8.00, doubt I could manage that now!
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I think there must be an awful lot of lark and owl partnerships around. Your description of your PhD study pattern has reminded me very vividly of my own experience of studying part-time for ordained ministry when our two were teenagers. So many late nights followed by early mornings ready for the day job. We were definitely younger and more energetic back then. :-)
DeleteOh what a familiar picture :-) I'm the night owl and Niall's the early bird. Like you I get spoilt as he makes the b'fast [and a better cup of tea!]
ReplyDeleteLOL, Antoinette! We owls with larks for partners have it made, don't we? One slight difference chez nous - DH isn't much of a tea-drinker or maker, so if I want my morning cuppa I have to make it myself and take it back to bed. :-)
DeleteHumph! Speaking as an owl myself, I well remember when I was still an owlet being forced to go to bed at an *inhumanely* early hour, especially in the summer, and lying awake for what seemed like an eternity until I eventually fell asleep.
ReplyDeleteI also vividly remember the occasion when you came back into my room unexpectedly after turning out the light, and found me reading in the evening sunlight filtering through the curtains.... ;-)
LOL! Yes, I remember that occasion too, DD, and secretly sympathised, as I have similar memories of lying in bed as a child, listening to the neighbouring children still merrily playing outside ages after we'd all been sent to bed.
DeleteSadly for you two, the idea of early bedtimes for children had been so thoroughly drummed into your father and me as we grew up that it honestly didn't occur to us we could make up our own rule on this. At least you and DS have learned from our mistakes.....
I'm exactly the same as you P. After 15 years of early rising to get my girl to school (bus at 7;15am even on Saturdays) I am finally enjoying the delights of a lie-in. Until Jake the dog protests that is. A couple of times I have given in to temptation and got back into bed with a book and a cup of tea after the dog-walk.
ReplyDeleteGosh, that was an early start, BtoB, and 6 days a week too! At least the school bus here didn't leave until 8.30, giving me just enough time to make it to work by 9 and on Saturdays I could lie in, though it was up again early on Sundays for church.
DeleteThere seem to be a lot of us owls around and in retirement we can finally come into our own. :-)
Good for you.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, Beloved doesn't get up much earlier than I do and he always leaves me alone until i get up by myself, unless he's worried that I might not be well.
After retirement we must be allowed to let our body clocks run rampant. I feel that those old saws - my mother was full of them - are best kept in a very dusty drawer, never to be opened. After all, we no longer wear corsets either and my mother swore that I'd have a very bad back if I didn't force myself into one.
Thanks, Friko. I can tell you're another owl, as there you are commenting at close to midnight and here am I replying. :-) DH isn't an extreme lark, so he usually leaves me be until close to 9 and even sleeps in himself sometimes, in which case breakfast can be very late.
DeleteI love the thought of a junk drawer, full of old sayings which no longer apply, but which we can never completely cast off. Thankfully my mother never tried to encase me in corsetry - my mind is boggling gently at the thought.....
I did this very same thing last night, up until 3am reading. It's 6pm the next day now, and I am struggling to stay awake!
ReplyDeleteOh dear, another one. :-) We're all getting into very bad habits, Pueblo Girl. I certainly am, as I started a new book last night and managed to read even later than last time. Don't tell my DH!
DeleteOh, Perpetua, I know from whence you speak, er, write. I can't seem to get to sleep without a "bedtime" story. In my younger years, I could read through the night without much ado, but, now, I pay for it dearly come morning. I will be left to my own devices soon as Tom takes a business trip. You described me precisely, dear one, what I will likely be up to.
ReplyDeleteDonna Leon. Another author to pursue.
Penny, welcome to the Owl Club, which is gaining members all the time on here. :-) It's probably a good thing that we aren't left to our own devices too often or our body clocks would run riot and never come back into line. I have this lovely mental picture of you snuggling down while Tom is away and reading the clock round.
DeleteOh, do pursue Donna Leon. You won't regret it, I promise. She is American, but has lived in Italy for many years and writes beautifully.
Liebe Perpetua, Du warst schon immer eine Leseratte! Und ich schlafe immer über meinen Bücher ein, zu meinem größten Bedauern. Donna Leon ist für mich auch eine wunderbare Ferienlektüre und ich liebe die TV-Verfilmungen. Dann schlafe ich nie vor dem Fernseher ein! Lieber Grüße R
ReplyDeleteLiebe R, na ja, Du kennst mir noch sehr gut. Lesen mag ich immer ungeheuer gern, ob es Bücher oder Blogs ist. Leider gibt es auf Englisch keine TV-Verfilmungen von Donna Leon, was mir so schade ist. Liebe Grüße an Dich auch.
DeleteI wish I could read late - when the clock strikes twelve I'm down and out.
ReplyDeleteI'm not surprised, Mark. With a family and a full-time job, you couldn't do anything else and still function next day. Self-indulgence like this comes with retirement, or did for me.
DeleteI try to keep regular hours, but occasionally 'fall off the wagon'. Then I find myself needing a nap in the afternoon ... and it can all start again. Late nights - no sleep -nana naps etc. Trying hard to get to bed at a decent hour, then a chapter and a good sleep. It makes all the difference to me. Sue
ReplyDeleteYou sound more like my DH, Sue, who needs regular (early) bedtimes or he starts to feel rotten. My problem is that I can't nap in the daytime, so if I stay up late too often I just get very tired. So my late night reading binges have to be occasional, however much I'd like it to be otherwise. :-)
DeleteDear Perpetua, I so enjoy Donna Leon. I've read all the books in her series and have my name on the list at the library for her latest. And I can so relate to your sleeping needs. I, too, like to wake at my leisure and snuggle in and dream of the day ahead. And I so enjoy reading late into the night when all is still outside except for an occasional gust of wind.
ReplyDeleteNow remember, Perpetua, to try the Agatha Raisin series by M. C. Beaton. She's no Donna Leon, but if you ever want to read a book, or books, that make you laugh out loud at the sheer effrontery, temerity, audacity of a character, then please do pick up one of this series. Peace.
Dee, I'm so glad you love Donna Leon too. See, I knew we were soul mates. :-) Sleeping to the body's needs rather than society's demands is one of the great luxuries of retirement and I value it very much.
DeleteI'm glad to say that I have heeded your admonitions, Dee, and last month managed to find my first Agatha Raison novel in my local library. I enjoyed it as an amusing and unusual mystery and must check the library catalogue to see what other titles of hers they have. Thanks for the recommendation.
I'm hardly a lark these days Perpetua, but Sybille is definitely an owl. Apparently it was the nickname her parents gave her as a child. She loved & still loves to work & read late into the night. I try reading in bed & most times fall asleep after a few pages. Sybille can get through half a book :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, I can well imagine Sybille as eine kleine Eule, now able to follow her owl bent to the full, with you keeping her company for at least part of the time until nature takes over. :-) It's hard being clergy owls and having to get up early so often, isn't it?
DeleteMy DH has allowed an extention to 9:30. No porridge...tea though, if he's here and not off to a job. Yes I am an OWL )))
ReplyDeleteAm really enjoying your blog posts. Came by way of Mark Charlton/Viewsfromthebikeshed.
It is the most wonderful time for soups isn't it!! You describe the lusciousness of them with beauty in your latest post. An inspiration for me is a book called "For the Love of Soup" by Jeanelle Mitchell.
Hello Gardeningbren and welcome to my blog. Nice to meet another owl. I love the way we discover new blogs via other people's. I've been reading Mark's blog for ages.
DeleteI got an extension this morning because DH slept in for once, but I still had to make my own tea, as he doesn't "do" tea. :-)
We had soup for supper last night - a new recipe for an old favourite, parsnip and apple and it was even better than my old version. Yum. I must check for the book you mention - thanks for the recommendation.